From Football to Coffee Beans - Part II

Discovering the Secret of Life

Hopefully you had a chance to read my story yesterday on Damon West, and enjoyed it. Here is the second half of his story.

"There are two ways out of prison, through the courts, and through parole.”

“That Monday, I decided I was going to start earning my respect … at the rec yard. The rec yard, like everything else at prison, is all about race. At the rec yard, far in the distance, is the sand volleyball court, and it’s for the whites and Hispanics only. To the left, you see big walls, and those are the handball courts. They are open to any race, but your partner has to be of the same race. At the weight stack, your spotter better look at you. And finally, there is the basketball court, and that is run by the blacks; no whites allowed. Growing up in Port Arthur, Texas, I was used to being the only white kid around, so I headed out to the basketball court. I know I’m better than some of the guys out there, I just need to get my hands on the ball. After each game, they ‘shoot for teams.’ Meaning, the first two guys who make shots get to pick the teams. So I go out there, and when the last ball of the game goes through the basket, I grab the ball, falling on it like a fumble ball in football. And the guys on the court are screaming, ‘man, white boy! Have you lost your mind?! We’re gonna hurt you!’ And what do I do? I scream back, ‘hurt me! I’m shooting for teams today.’ They are screaming at me and spitting on me, yelling, ‘we’re gonna kill you, white boy.’ The biggest Blood from Houston, he tells me, ‘get up there and shoot your shot.’ I get up to the free throw line and I’m thinking to myself, ‘Damon, what are you doing?’ I’ve now disrespected the whole race, but if I make this shot, I am one step closer towards getting their respect. I get up there, and I make my shot; and he gets up there, and makes his shot. I pick my four, and he picks his four, but the game isn’t 5-on-5, it’s 9-on-1. But I survive.”

“Tuesday, I go back out onto the court, and they are laughing at me again. ‘Man, we thought you had enough yesterday. What are you doing out here?’ And I look them straight in the eye and say, ‘man, I thought you were playing basketball.’ The Blood who I played against yesterday, he picked me to be on his team today, and they gave it to me even worse. I go out there Wednesday, Thursday, Friday; and they are all picking me to be on their team because they want to beat me up. On Saturday, this is when I see it happen. I’m out there playing in this game, and up until this point all I’ve been able to play is defense, when they finally pass the ball to me. I shoot, and I miss. They pass it to me again, and I make the shot, and then I hear; it ‘good shot, West.’ They weren’t calling me white boy any more. After that game was over, the guys came over and their posture was different. The head Blood said to me, ‘you pulled something off out here that we’ve never seen a white boy do before. You’ve earned our respect. You won’t have to worry about the black the rest of your time here in prison.’ All I could think of was Mr. Jackson and the coffee bean. In six days I had changed the environment out on the yard, and they and accepted me. From then on, they’d come get me, ‘West, let’s go shoot some hoops.”

“But, there was problem, based on a flaw in his statement. The head Blood, he couldn’t promise to keep the entire race off of me. That was out of his control. And then there was another problem, I’ve always taken shortcuts. Two weeks after that Saturday, I was coming off the court, and this guy named Carlos pulled me aside. He takes me into the stairwell and tells me that this big black guy is coming for me in the shower, and that he’s not coming to fight you, he’s coming to rape you and he has a knife. My reply? I just won’t take a shower today. To which Carlos reminds me that I’m a fool, because sooner or later I have to take a shower, and he’ll be waiting for me. He tells me, ‘You’re on the track and the train is coming. What are you going to do?’ I answer Carlos, ‘I don’t have a knife.’ At this point, Carlos gives me a knife, and I hand it back. I’ve never fought with a knife before, and if I go in there with a knife, he’s going to kill me for sure.”

“Carlos has an idea. We go back to my cell. I have this little fan in my cell, because prisons in Texas have no air conditioning, and you need that little fan when it gets hot in August. It is March of 2010 when this is happening, so I’m not actually using my fan. Carlos takes my fan apart, takes the motor off and puts it into this bag that he has, and makes a weapon out of it. He hands me the weapon and instructs me, ‘don’t wear your flip flops to the shower, and wear your boots. Turn the shower on, make the water as hot as it will go to create steam and as soon as he comes in, hit him in the head and kill him, or he will kill you.’ At that moment it sinks in, I am going to kill a man. How did this happen? How did I get here in life?”

“I walk the 20 steps to the shower, and I realize, I am never going home. If I kill him, they are going to give me another life sentence, or he’s gonna kill me. But I have to do it.”

“I do everything he says. I’m waiting in my boxer shorts and my boots with my weapon, and the wait seems like forever. My heart is pounding in my chest, and then he pops his head through. All I remember seeing is this big grin on his face, which pissed me off and I screamed as I hit him. I hit him in the breastbone, totally missing his head. He drops his knife, and now I’m on this guy, smashing the motor into him. He’s on the ground, and I’m smashing him in the head. Two of his gang brothers come and demand that I stop or they’re gonna throw me off the run, which would be my death for certain. You see, once he hits the ground, and I’m still hitting him, I’m violating the rule. The rule is, once the other guy is down, you have to stop fighting; you have to let him get up.”

“I snap out of it, grab my bag, and run back to my cell, closing the cell door and I start to cry. I fall asleep, or more like pass out, and sleep until the next day. When I walk out of my cell the next day, everyone knew I spoke the universal language that is spoke in prison, violence; and once they all saw that, they never bothered me again. No more challenges, no more fighting. Once that pressure was lifted off of me, I started working on myself; mentally, spiritually, physically, and I started the process of recovering. I learned that we all need to eat, and what you feed yourself is not only food, but it is also what you read, what you watch on TV, what you do to feed your spirituality. I started reading a book every other day. Whatever I could get my hands on. I started learning about the five major religions, and what I learned is that they are all based on four main principles.”

· Unselfish

· Honest

· Pure

· Loving

“Those are the four principles I based my recovery on, and through them discovered the secret of life. When I came to the understanding that those principles were how I needed to run my decisions, I discovered these retreats that they offered through the prison, called the ACTS retreat. The ACTS retreat is based on serving others and being humble. ACTS is an acronym for: Adoration – Community – Theology – Service. These men would come in to the prison from the outside, leave their jobs, their families for four days and come in and love the inmates. There were 66 of us who would go on these retreats, and the men would hug us and shower us with love. You could just see a transformation happening to the guys in the room.”

"Big murderers, crying like babies at the end of the retreat. I was mesmerized. I saw a transformation happen at that retreat that I never thought could happen in that deep dark place.”

“A great example of the ‘servant leadership’ that comes out of these ACTS retreats, is my buddy Joe Tortorice. Joe started a sandwich shop in 1976 in Beaumont, Texas. He began his Jason’s Deli restaurants with four employees and one store, and now he has 270 stores, 11,000 employees in 29 states. But if you ask Joe, he’s not in the restaurant business, he’s in the people business. He believes that you help others achieve their goals and through that you elevate yourself. That’s how the universe works, when everything is in harmony.”

“Since I already had a college degree, I couldn’t take classes in prison, but I came to the realization that I could teach others in prison. I became a tutor, and started mentoring my fellow inmates; helping them go in the right direction. Any way I could give back, I did. I learned that the best way to free myself of my addictions was to help others.”

“Next, I started going to AA meetings on a regular basis and working the steps. One day, I went into a meeting and the sponsor told us, today we are going to diagram the Serenity Prayer.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;

Courage to change the things I can;

And wisdom to know the difference.

“First, he drew a long line across the chalkboard. For the first line of the prayer, put all of the things you cannot change on God’s line. For the second line of the prayer, erase one inch of God’s line, and that’s your line. That’s what you get to work on every day. There are four things that you can control in your life: what you think, what you say, what you feel, and what you do. That’s what you need to work on every day. For the third line, the wisdom to know the difference, know the difference between what’s on God’s line, and what’s on your line.”

“Everything I went through in prison was very humbling. And I believe when you are humbled, it’s because you needed to be right sized. After you have been humbled, whether or not you stay there, is up to you.”

“I helped a lot of people during my time in prison, but then I got to a point where I wanted to get out.”

“There are two ways out of prison, through the courts, and through parole.”

“It came time for me to sit down and write my appeal. There are jailhouse lawyers, and they will tell you, in exchange for $100 at the commissary, I’ll get you out of here. But the more I thought about it, I knew I was a smart guy, so I paid one of the lawyers two bags of coffee to show me how the use the law library, and after an eight hour tutorial of the library, I got to work. It took me two weeks to write my appeal, and then I sent it off to Provost Umphrey Law Firm, asking them if they would review it and let me know if it was something I could use. My Umphrey responded to me saying it was one hell of an appeal, and that when I got out of prison I should come see him for a job.”

“I file my appeal, and I’m trying to do all of the right things, but as Dabo Swinney says, ‘you bloom where you’re planted.’ Growth happens outside of your comfort zone, otherwise you wouldn’t grow, and you’d stay stagnant. I was lucky, I had a lot of help. My parents came to visit me over 150 times when I was in prison. I had visits from friends and family almost every week. I had encouragement from so many people, but what I had most was hope, which is also in short supply in prison. With hope and time on my hands, I went to work on myself spiritually, mentally, and physically; and on November 16, 2015, the parole board set me free.”

“When they granted me parole, they told me this. ‘Hey look, if you come back to prison, we’ll keep you for the rest of your life. Make it right.’”

“The guard walked me to the gate and he told me, ‘here’s your last order. Once you get out of here, get off of our property and don’t ever come back to the Texas Department of Criminal Justice every again.’ I run to the car, where my parents are waiting for me, and my dad says, ‘You want to get a Whataburger?’ And my mom says, ‘hang on Bob, don’t start the car just yet. I have three tools that Damon needs to restart his life.’ First, she handed me an iPhone. I was blown away. When I had a cell phone before I went to prison, it had buttons, not a computer screen! Second, she handed me my driver’s license, which I had been able to renew from prison. Third, she put an ACTS bracelet on my wrist, from the men who ran the retreat I went to in prison. She told me, ‘all the men who have been on these retreats, just like you … they’re waiting for you. Wear your ACTS bracelet so that you can identify each other. I have signed you up for another ACTS retreat in St. Charles … go find your friends.’”

“I thought I was in a good place with my bible and my rosary, but that first retreat after I got out of prison was so great for me. These men shared with me the failures in their own lives, explaining that they were sharing their stories so that others don’t make the same mistakes. This was the servant leadership guide that I have chosen to follow. If by sharing my story, I can save even one kid, or save one family from having to go through what my family went through, or save one future victim from suffering, I am doing right by God.”

“Now my prayer is, ‘God, put in front of me what you need me to do today, and let me recognize it when I see it.’”

“The best thing I have every single day is my program of recovery, because I will always be an addict. I go to meetings, meet with my sponsor, work my steps, and continue to clean out the junk in my life. I have made lists and apologized to people, because whether or not they accept my apologies, it’s my job to keep my side of the street and life clean. And if I can do that, I can stay right with my God. I do this every single day. It’s not something I’ll ever graduate from, it’s something I’ll have to do for the rest of my life.”

“The day after I got out of prison, I went to see Mr. Umphrey, as he had instructed me, and he gave me a job at his law firm. I work in the pharmaceutical division, and I’ve been there for two years now. To get a job at a law firm like this, it’s a one in a million chance, but they feel I am a real life service project.

On the side I started going to local prisons and speaking to the inmates, and then the next things I wanted to do was start speaking with students and student-athletes. I got the opportunity to go speak at the University of Florida. They couldn’t pay me, but they had me flown in, and they were blown away by my story. And then it happened … other schools started calling. What everyone started to realize was that I am the only former NCAA student-athlete to get a life sentence, get paroled, and have the opportunity to go out and speak about it.”

Damon has spoken at multiple Division I universities including Alabama, Georgia, Clemson, Texas A&M, SMU, Michigan State, Pitt, Kansas, and many more. He has had coaches from Dabo Swinney to Nick Saban endorse his servant leadership, and he continues to speak at universities and prisons to make a difference in the lives of young men and women. He has devoted his life to sharing with others the dangers and consequences of making bad decisions, and the benefits of staying humble.

Are you interested in Damon West coming to speak to your organization? Please visit his website, www.DamonWest.org for more information!

And don’t forget … “Be a coffee bean!”

Want to read more of Damon West’s story? Check out his books on Amazon: The Change Agent: How a Former College QB Sentenced to Life in Prison Transformed His World, The Coffee Bean: A Simple Lesson to Create Positive Change, and his new book: How to be a Coffee Bean : 111 Life-Changing Ways to Create Positive Change.

Cheers!

From Football to Coffee Beans?

Discovering the Secret of Life

You may not have heard of Damon West before. He has no connection to Notre Dame, per se, but he does have a connection to college football, as he played football for the University of North Texas. He has published multiple books, with a new one coming out this week (How to be a Coffee Bean), February 1st, and I think his story is pretty incredible ... so I’d like to share a little bit of it with you. I hope you enjoy it!

From Football to Coffee Beans? Discovering the Secret of Life

Port Arthur, Texas. Have you ever heard of it? If you’re a fan of Notre Dame Football, you might have, as it is the home of one Christie Flanagan. Flanagan earned his spot in Fighting Irish lore by becoming Knute Rockne’s star halfback after the Four Horsemen departed. Here’s how the iconic Grantland Rice described him: “There was only one lone Horseman riding against the skyline of Fame when Notre Dame met the Army in their annual classic at Yankee Stadium this afternoon, but this time one Horseman was enough.” “His name was Flanagan – Chris Flanagan – a big, gangling, hard-running halfback with the speed of the wind that sweeps the prairies of the West.” ~Grantland Rice, Nov. 13, 1926.

Damon West was born in Port Arthur, Texas; on the gulf coast where Texas and Louisiana meet. His father, Bob West, was a groundbreaking sports writer. In fact, he was the first sports writer to put an African-American athlete (former Oklahoma Sooner football player, Joe Washington) on the front page of the sports section in Port Arthur. And his mother, Genie, was a nurse, and raised Damon and his older brother Brandon and younger brother, Grayson. In the 1970’s and 80’s, when Port Arthur’s schools were becoming integrated and white people were leaving in droves, the West family decided to stay. There were many situations during those days growing up in Port Arthur in which Damon was the only white kid. Little did he know that these situations would one day help him, when once again he would be in similar situations, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

The West family was a traditional Catholic family, with a cross and a prayer plaque hanging on the wall in each room of the house. In 1985, this strong faith was greatly tested. Damon came to his parents to tell them his babysitter was molesting him. They sent Damon to counseling and reached out to their family priest, but Damon went into a very dark place. That was his activating event. “By the age of 10, I was sneaking beers from my Dad’s fridge, sneaking liquor at friends’ houses, and smoking cigarettes. By age 12, I was smoking pot, and my belief system was in a bad place. I thought, I wasn’t hurting anyone, I was just smoking a little pot and drinking beer. I was a really good athlete growing up, and I would go onto become a three-year starter for the football team at my high school. I was recruited by many Division I schools, that is until they found out I was only 5’10.” In 1994, there were few successful short quarterbacks, so no one was eager to take a chance on me. I did, however, receive a scholarship to the University of North Texas, and that’s where I went.”

“Once I got out of Port Arthur and into Denton, I lost sight of a lot of important things in my life. I stopped going to church, and I turned my focus towards playing football, having a good time, and partying. Every person’s life is made up of a bunch of ‘fork in the road’ type moments, and September 21st, 1996 was one of mine. North Texas was playing Texas A&M on that day, and I was the starting quarterback for North Texas. On the third play of the game, I would go down with a separated shoulder, and that would be the last football game I would ever play in.” (The following summer, Damon would sever his Achilles tendon in a home accident, which would end his football career.)

Damon had drank and smoked pot quite a bit up to that point, but after realizing his football career was over, he began to shift towards harder drugs to help talk away the pain. “I hit the harder stuff, ecstasy, cocaine, pills … I had no inhibitions. My grades suffered terribly, but somehow, by the grace of God, I graduated. After college, I worked in Washington, D.C., for a congressman from Houston, and following that job I worked for Missouri congressman Dick Gephardt while he was running for President in 2004. Then I worked for UBS bank and trained to become a stock broker. One day at work, one of my co-workers commented that I looked sluggish and told me to follow him to the parking garage. That’s when I was introduced to meth. Up to that point I was a pretty normal, functioning coke addict. Yes, my value system was so warped that I thought what I was doing was normal. But meth, that was a different story. That first time I used meth, I was up for four days straight, and I loved how it made me feel.”

Damon’s life went from functioning to spiraling out-of-control. “I lost my job, my home, my car, my savings account, my connection with God, my family, and my sanity. I was homeless, living on the streets of Dallas. I found a place to stay at a dope house, where all we would do was sit around, get high, and talk about getting high. We were a bunch of unemployable addicts, doing anything we had to do to get more drugs. The thing about addicts, we are selfish people and we are thieves. Addicts steal lots of things, but one thing that is stolen from an addict is time, and time is the most precious resource that once lost, cannot be regained. I started breaking into cars, storage units, and eventually into homes in the uptown neighborhood of Dallas where I used to live.”

“The burglary ring we were running would go on to be known as the ‘Uptown Burglaries,’ and I left a trail of victims in my wake. I hurt a lot of people. I took from them a sense of security that they may never get back. Their thoughts of a person coming into their home, unannounced, unwelcomed, stealing their sense of peace; that’s something they’ll always have to live with. By July 30, 2008, I had been running these burglaries for two years. On that particular day, I was sitting on a couch in a run-down apartment, with a dealer sitting next to me, and we were handing the pipe back and forth. I told the dealer that I thought the end was near; I thought the cops were coming to get me. My partner had been picked up 10 days prior to that day, and I felt my days were numbered. Just as I’m handing the pipe back to him, a window breaks and a cannister comes sailing through the window. I get up from the couch, look down at the cannister, and in a flash it explodes right in my face. The explosion blew me back onto the couch and I couldn’t see or hear anything. When I regained my senses, a cop was standing over me in full riot gear, and his gun was pressed into my eyeball. I look up at the cop and he says, ‘DON’T MOVE, DON’T MOVE!’ And then I hear them say, we got him! The uptown burglar!”

“When all was said and done, we had broken into dozens of homes in that uptown neighborhood of Dallas, desperately trying to feed that insatiable addiction. We were white, black, male, female.” Addiction knows no boundaries, it sinks its teeth into anyone who will let it.

“They took me to the Dallas County Jail, where they threw me into a holding cell for 24-hours. I only had one thought during that 24-hours. It wasn’t about the victims, my family, or about me. The one thought in my head was, ‘how in the world am I going to get high in here; how am I going to get my dope.’ After that first 24-hours, they moved me into general population, which was a terrifying experience. Never had I been somewhere, where I knew I wasn’t able to leave. In my first 24-hours in general population, I was in my first real fight over a breakfast tray. I called home from this blue jail phone that they had hanging on the wall, and I heard my dad crying. He was screaming at me, ‘how did we go so wrong?? How did we mess up so badly?? What could we have done differently??’ Then my mom gets on the phone, and I hear her say, ‘baby, listen. Your dad can’t talk to you right now. You’ve hurt us, but we love you unconditionally. That’s the deal we made with God when he loaned you to us. You know that, right?’ And I replied, ‘yes.’ She said, ‘now we have to give you to God. You’re now a captive audience to God, and you had better start listening to him. Do you remember the prayer plaque that was on the wall above your bed?’ That plaque had been on the wall in my room for 18 years in our house on Roanoke Street, and I for the life of me couldn’t remember what it said.”

“My mom replied, ‘it was footprints in the sand. Do you remember the story?’ When I could not remember the story, she ever so patiently and lovingly told me the story of footprints in the sand. How every time something good happened, the young man saw two sets of footprints, but every time something bad happened, he only saw one set of footprints. I asked her, ‘why is there only one set of footprints when things are bad in life?’ And she replied, ‘that’s because in those moments, God is carrying you.’”

“That night I started praying to God, something I had not done since I was injured in college in 1996. Reopening a conversation with God like this doesn’t just happen overnight. My first prayer, during those 10 months in the county jail awaiting my trial, was pretty simple; ‘Dear God, get me out of this jam. If you get me out of this jam, look what I’ll do for you: I’ll get a job, be a normal guy, and only smoke meth on weekends.’” Not exactly ‘Footprints in the Sand,’ but it was a start.

“I was in the Dallas County jail for 10 months awaiting my trial, but my hope, my thought, was that I’d get out on probation, and resume using the drugs that I missed so much. When my trial began, I sat there for six days, with my family right there with me. I listened to the testimony of victim after victim, accomplice after accomplice, and recordings of the phone calls I’d made from jail over the last 10 months. I was not remorseful, I was not sorry, and the jury only deliberated for 10 minutes before they came back with a guilty verdict. The next thing I heard was the judge saying, ‘you are hereby sentenced to 65 years in the Texas Department of Criminal Justice … life sentence.”

“After that, all I could hear was my mother gasping. It was my first felony conviction, but I received a life sentence. I would later learn, once I got to prison, that I was there with people who had committed murder and only gotten 8 years … and I got a life sentence. The jury was mad at me. There I was, this selfish guy who had hurt so many people. It definitely struck a chord with the jurors. They were sitting there looking at this smug guy who could have done anything to earn a living, and had chosen to do this instead. I was not remorseful. They had listened to calls I had made from prison trying to get someone, anyone, to move stolen property to bail me out. I didn’t care about anyone but myself. All of those jailhouse phone calls, ultimately, that’s what sealed my fate.”

“Once the verdict was read, they quickly handcuffed me and shoved me out of the courtroom. They put me inside of a holding area, with me on one side of the bullet proof glass, and my parents on the other side, and we get one last visit. I turned to my mother and said, ‘I’m sorry mom.’ My dad sits there, stunned with disbelief, and has no words. My mom says, ‘debts of life demand to be repaid, and you just got hit with a huge bill by the state of Texas, and you must repay it. You owe your dad and me as well. We gave you a life, and here is the debt you owe us. You are going to go to prison, and you’re going to get on God’s back, and you are not going to join one of these white hate gangs, you’re not going to get any tattoos, and you’re going to repay your debt. Do you understand me?’ And I replied, ‘yes.’”

“The guards took me back to the pod in the county jail, before I got transferred to where I’ll serve my life sentence, and I start asking every single guy in there, ‘how am I going to survive this?’ And this is what I’m hearing. I’m going to a building which is going to be my sole existence. There will be a chapel, chow hall, and law library. That’s it. They keep telling me I’m going to have to join a gang in order to make my life easier. Everyone but one man, Mr. Jackson. I was very receptive to Mr. Jackson. He was an older black man, and he pulled me aside to give me a different set of advice. He said, ‘I’ve been watching you, and you keep telling everyone that you can’t join a gang, in order to honor your mom. And that’s okay. You don’t have to join a gang. But there are a few things you need to know.’”

“Mr. Jackson continued, ‘The first thing you need to know is that everything in prison is about race. In the television room, the first row is for the blacks, the second row is for the Hispanics, and if there is a third bench, that one is for the whites. Otherwise you sit on the floor. Second, the white gangs will feel they have an ownership over you. You will fight them first if you don’t want to join them. If you survive what they are going to do with you, you will move onto the next phase which is fighting with the black gangs. The gangs all work together. If you survive all of that, you will be able to walk alone, and only the strongest guys in prison walk alone. Third, you don’t have to win all of your fights in prison, but you do have to fight them. (This is not only the most important rule in prison, but it’s the most important rule in life.) You have to respond quickly, and you have to get back up again. You have to fight.’”

“The next thing he told me, has stuck with me every day of my life. He told me, “West, imagine prison as a pot of boiling water. It’s hot, and the pressure is high. Now imagine putting three things in this pot of boiling water; a carrot, an egg, and a coffee bean. What happens to the carrot when you put it in boiling water? It gets soft. The carrot went into prison hard, and got soft. What happens to the egg when you put it in the boiling water? It gets hard. The egg went into prison hard, and it became hard on the inside, too. Now the egg is incapable of giving or receiving love, and never needs to come out of prison. What happens to the coffee bean when you put it into boiling water? It changes the water into coffee. The smallest of the three things changed the whole pot of water into coffee. That’s what you need to do when you go into prison, change everything. You have to go into this high pressure, negative environment, and change it forever. You get out of anything, exactly what you put into it. The other coffee beans will find you because your energy will shine. Where do you find them? Go to the chapel.’”

“The last thing he told me before I left the county jail is this, ‘when you walk into your pod for the first time, put your back against the wall and wait for it to happen. The first guy to come to you will not come to hurt you, he’ll come for info. The second guy, put your fist in his mouth because he’s coming to hurt you.’”

“1585689 Inmate West. In prison, they count you multiple times a day, so it doesn’t take long to memorize your number.”

“The bus ride to prison was an awful ride. You’re handcuffed to another man, so if he needs to go to the bathroom, you go to the bathroom. You go everywhere together. It’s a 10 hour ride. It’s August, it’s hot and there is no air conditioning. It’s just like you see in the movies. Then, when you get there, you get off the bus and they strip you down. They do a cavity search, shave your head, and give you a sack lunch; a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a hardboiled egg, and prunes. They take a sample of your DNA, poke you, prod you, and look for identifying marks. You get boxer shorts and clothes, and they take you to your pod.”

“The prison they sent me to was in Beaumont, Texas, which happens to be right next to Port Arthur. I never thought I’d be coming home on a prison bus. It’s a mixed bag. Yes, I’m close enough to home that my friends and family can come visit me, but I’m going to prison. The Mark W. Stiles Unit, in the Texas Department of Correction. One of the toughest prisons in Texas.”

“I remembered everything Mr. Jackson told me. I walked into my pod in section two, put my back against the wall, and 10 minutes later this little guy comes around. He asks me, ‘hey white boy, what family are you riding with?’ And I reply, ‘I’m riding with God.’ He laughs at me, and says, ‘we’re gonna come get you. God isn’t here. He left a long time ago.’ 10 minutes later this big corn fed white guy with swastika tattoos came up and once he got within range of me I hit him as hard as I could, and then he dropped me within 20 seconds.”

“I had three dozen fights while I was in prison, and I lost 75% of them; but in the end, I won by showing up. I learned so much more about myself from my losses than my wins. Let’s face it, no one analyzes a victory quite like they do a loss. Many times they would roll my cell door and another inmate would say, ‘West, I want to look at you in the shower,’ meant they wanted to fight, because in the showers, it’s easier to clean up the blood. After a few weeks, I’m done fighting the white gangs, and then the black gangs came. And they came four guys at a time.

“At this point I’m starting to visit the chapel. There is a big Catholic presence there, and the Catholic representative is this woman named Dee Doucet. She carries a cane, and she is not one bit afraid to hit you with it. I go into her office and speak to hear about my situation. I tell her, I can’t do this; I think I need to kill myself. At which point she said, ‘you can’t do that, Damon. Follow your mom’s advice and get on God’s back.’ She gave me a bible and a rosary, and asked me to say a rosary with her. My mom had an extremely strong devotion to the blessed mother, and I knew my mom prayed the rosary quite often. My mom always had her rosary in her car, and she prayed it any time she had a few extra minutes. This gesture from Dee, giving me the bible and rosary, very much resonated with me. She enrolled me in all of her Catholic groups at the prison. She told me, ‘you need strength and you need help.’ That was a Saturday, and on Monday morning I got up and thought, I’m tired of these limits I’m putting on myself. I’m ready to surpass what I thought I could do.”

Stay tuned ... part two tomorrow!

Cheers!

P.S. Here's some info about his new book coming out this week from Damon's co-author, Jon Gordon: 

111 Life-Changing Ways to Create Positive Change

Life is often difficult. It can be harsh, stressful, and at times feel like a pot of boiling hot water. The environments we find ourselves in can change, weaken, or harden us, and test who we truly are. In those times we can be like the carrot that weakens in the pot or like the egg that hardens. Or, we can be like the coffee bean and discover the power inside us to transform our environment from the inside out.

That's the core message of "The Coffee Bean," the breakaway bestseller that my co-author Damon West and I released in 2019.

Now, we're back with a new book titled "How to Be a Coffee Bean" that releases this week. In it we share 111 life-changing ways to create positive change and live out the coffee bean principles each day. You can get a copy here.

Echoes From Notre Dame: Former Notre Dame Basketball Player, Philip Hickey

Once you graduate from Notre Dame, you are a Domer for life.

I had the opportunity to jump on a call with former Notre Dame Fighting Irish basketball player, Philip Hickey. We had a great time walking down memory lane and talking some Notre Dame basketball. I never get tired of speaking with former Notre Dame athletes and getting an inside perspective on what it is like to be a student-athlete at a Division I program such as Notre Dame. Not only do I learn something new every time, I walk away with an even more profound love of Our Lady’s University. And without further ado, here’s my interview with Philip Hickey.

Where did you grow up?

“I grew up in a beautiful small town called Wellsboro, in north central Pennsylvania, which is also home to the Pennsylvania Grand canyon. It is a picturesque New England style town with gaslights lining the streets. It is the type of place that you do not appreciate as a young person and you probably thought was a bit boring, but looking back on it you count your blessings that you grew up in nice, safe, beautiful town. I have two siblings. My sister, Christine, lives in Perth, Australia, and my half-brother, Jonathan, lives in Arkansas with his wife, Alysha, who is in the Air Force.”

How did you become interested in playing basketball?

“I always felt like the world was pushing me to play basketball. I was a huge kid. When I say I was a huge kid, this is what I mean: I was the same size as my teacher when I was in kindergarten. If I wanted to go on the teeter-totter, she had to go on the other side, or two kids had to. Growing up my first love was baseball. I was obsessed with the New York Yankees, and I was obsessed with right fielder Dave Winfield who was my hero growing up. He was a great role model for me. Based on his size alone, he stood out playing right field, and he was an amazing player. Come to find out he was also a great basketball player, and in addition to playing for the Yankees, he was drafted by the Atlanta Hawks (NBA), Utah Stars (ABA), and even the Minnesota Vikings (NFL).”

“I played little league baseball growing up and absolutely loved the sport. My coach, Keith Tombs, had a brilliant sports mind. He could teach anything about any sport. Coincidentally, he was also the high school basketball coach. As he was coaching me in baseball, he would give me these gentle nudges that maybe I should pursue basketball, or at least try it and see if I liked it. My mom, Elaine, was a great basketball player as well and played basketball in college (Division III). All of these signs were just pushing me towards basketball. At first, I resisted it, and felt that I only loved baseball. Somewhere around fourth, fifth, or sixth grade, I started to get interested in basketball, and started to enjoy it. That was around the time when Michael Jordan was really starting to evolve as a pop culture figure, and his Nike Air Jordans were everywhere in the media. By the time I was in sixth grade I just could not get enough of basketball and it became a lifelong obsession. I was hooked.”

What made you interested in playing basketball at the University of Notre Dame?

“Obviously, the University of Notre Dame has a lot of history to it; it is a storied program and a storied school. When I was growing up, part of the Notre Dame NBC football contract included that two or three Notre Dame basketball games would get national television coverage. I watched them as much as I could, and started following players like Monte Williams, LaPhonso Ellis, and of course head coach Digger Phelps. When I started being recruited, Notre Dame was always on my interest list, and they were interested in me as well. My mom suggested to me that I take my official visit to Notre Dame during the week so that I could actually see what real student-life was like at ND, and not be wooed by a ND football weekend. In hindsight, that was a brilliant move on her part. During my visit, I fell in love with the campus, the coaches, and the players. If you combine that with the fact that they were moving into the Big East Conference, which was always my dream conference, that sealed the deal. (Philip’s first year was Notre Dame’s first year in the Big East Conference.) The combination that Notre Dame offered with world-class athletics and world-class academics, there were only a handful of schools that could compete with that and it just felt right to me. For me, it was the place to be.”

“My freshman class was targeted to be a big breakout recruiting class for Notre Dame, and it was the first nationally ranked class at ND in a couple of years. We had Doug Gottlieb, who is now a big Fox Sports personality, who ended up transferring to Oklahoma State. We also had Gary Bell, who was from Joliet, IL, and now coaches youth athletes, who was nationally ranked in both football and basketball. He finished number two to Kevin Garnett for Mr. Basketball in Illinois. We had Antoni Wyche, who has been a successful NCAA basketball coach and is currently at Siena. A big part of your success as a team is that when you come together, you have to believe that your class can contribute to the team as a whole. Overall, that class was full of talent and personality.”

“I will never forget the first time I met Gary, at the Nike All-American camp. He was such an interesting character. I think he had already committed to ND, and I hadn’t, and he said to me, ‘listen man, you can jump on my back for two years, but then after that you’re going to have to do it by yourself because I’m going to go to the NBA.’ Unfortunately, he had some bad luck injuries with his back and ankles and things did not work out as he had hoped. Doug ended up transferring at the end of my first year. Antoni and I persevered and had careers we were very proud of and were captains our senior year. Attending and playing basketball at Notre Dame is a choice I will never regret and I loved every moment.”

“When I made my official visit to Notre Dame, I had a couple of students who hosted me. Keith Kurowski, who was from New Jersey, and Admore White, who was a point guard. They toured me around campus and I got to meet a bunch of the players that would become my future teammates like Pat Garrity, Derek Manner, Marcus Young, and Matt Gotsch. Being that I was there in the middle of the week, I got to hang out with them on a much more laid-back basis. My mom was right, if you love a school on a normal day, football weekends are going to be twenty times better.”

What other schools were you looking at?

“I was looking at all of the schools in the Big East Conference, as that was always the conference I wanted to play in. In particular Syracuse, Pitt, and Rutgers. I also was looking at Penn State, Duquesne, and Northwestern. And of course Notre Dame.”

What was the transition like from playing basketball in high school, to competing at the collegiate level?

“The transition from playing basketball in high school to playing at the college level is difficult on many different levels. When you get to the Division I level, the training is so intense, and there are no shortcuts on the court or academically. You are thrown into both the athletics and the academics on day one. When I arrived on campus, I had never shot around on the basketball court at Notre Dame. On my first day on campus, I went to the basketball office and the assistant coach Terry Tyler said, ‘Let’s go shoot around a little bit and you can see where you will be playing for the next four years.’ It was not a full workout, just a couple of shots to welcome me and make me feel at home. He was dressed in a Notre Dame polo tucked into his khaki pants with a nice belt. I remember shooting a few foul shots. One shot in particular (maybe the third or fourth shot) bounced off the front of the rim. Terry went straight off of two legs, grabbed it with two hands and dunked it right into the basket. I was in absolute shock. My reaction was, ‘my god, if the assistant coaches at Division I schools can do this, what are the players going to be like?’ It is something that has stuck with me my entire life. To be fair Terry was just a couple years out of his NBA career and still in excellent shape, but I did not expect that at all.”

“Besides how good the existing players were and how hard they worked, I came in as a freshman recovering from a broken toe incident over the summer. I also needed to get in a bit better shape. In addition, I failed the mandatory swim test (I could not do my backstroke), and so I had to take swimming lessons in the morning, on top of the extra practices and rehab that I had to attend in the evening. I felt like I was working out around the clock. It was quite intense. Then I started to see the results, and it made me excited for what was next, and so the hard work paid off. The transition was definitely grueling both mentally and physically, and it is something you have to be ready for, but it definitely works if you put the effort in.”

What was it like to be a student-athlete at Notre Dame?

“I am not sure what it is like to be at another school, but being a student-athlete at Notre Dame is the best. I love that there were no athletic dorms, that students and athletes lived together, and you all have a shared experience. You meet lifelong friends in the dorms at Notre Dame, and you become family. I was lucky to have lived in Dillon Hall, and roomed with (football walk-on) Justin Meko, who has become a brother from another mother, and is a lovely guy with whom I have a lifelong bond. It is an immediate network that is created for you and it is just amazing.”

“I had the normal school year experiences at Notre Dame, but I also went to a couple summer school sessions and had those experiences as well. When I attended summer school at Notre Dame, it was almost as if it was a different university for me. I worked out and was roommates with a lot of the football team; especially the offensive and defensive linemen (Tim Ridder, Alex Mueller, Mike Rosenthal, David Payne, John Wagner, and John Cerasani) and we had some amazing summers. We studied hard and worked out hard, but we also did some exploring of Indiana and Illinois on the weekends, which I had never really done before. We are still all close friends. Once you graduate from Notre Dame, you are a Domer for life. It automatically opens up a great network of alumni, family and friends that you can participate in, take advantage of, and give to for the rest of your life. It is a special place to be a student-athlete. You not only develop academically and athletically, but you also develop morals and a sense of purpose.”

“And, of course, it is the most beautiful campus. It is just stunning … when it is at its best, it is incredible. You almost have to take a moment to enjoy how beautiful it really is, and what a wonderful place it is. The architecture, the landscaping, the Golden dome, the football stadium, and touchdown Jesus … or is it three point Jesus? (laughs) It is all just amazing, fantastic, and breathtaking.”

What was your relationship with Coach MacLeod like at Notre Dame?

“He was an outstanding man and a great teacher both on and off the court. He had the NBA pedigree. He worked us hard, and pushed us hard, and he expected a lot out of us. He expected us to grow into men. I really cannot say enough positive things about him or his staff. He had a great basketball staff, which included Fran McCaffery, who recruited me, as well as Terry Tyler, Parket Laketa and Billy Taylor. Additionally, I had a great bond with our legendary trainer, Skip Meyer, and we were lucky to have a great strength and conditioning program run by Billy Ray Martinov, and then Tony Rolinski, who is still there doing an amazing job. I was lucky to have played for Coach MacLeod for four years. He was kind of a private man but he was wonderful. He 100% encapsulated the spirit of Notre Dame, and everything that Notre Dame stands for. He was an honest person, he expected a lot out of you, and he held you accountable for your actions.”

“He evaluated you and told you what your potential was, and then he showed you where you needed to be and set up a program to get you there. He also provided us with opportunities off the court that we would not have otherwise gotten. For example, when we traveled to Washington, D.C. for a game, he was friends Sandra Day O’Connor, and we met her while we were there and took a tour of the White House and the Supreme Court. He gave us all of these intangible opportunities that at the time were cool but looking back as an adult were unbelievable. He knew a lot about basketball and I think we were so close to breaking through, but, unfortunately, there were a couple of transfers and a couple of injuries that kept us from getting there.”

What skills and/or tools did Coach MacLeod give you to help you manage the challenging academics at Notre Dame along with the rigors of playing basketball?

“He held us accountable for our successes and failures. It was a simple strategy. He would tell us, ‘You came here to be a Notre Dame student-athlete, which means you need to focus on both and do well in both.’ In addition, there were no short cuts anywhere. He wanted us to learn fast from our mistakes, to own up to them, and then to lean into our strengths and he helped us do that. He expected us to put in the effort both on and off the court, and on multiple occasions told us, the reason why Notre Dame is great is that there are no short cuts. This is hard. If it were easy, everyone would be doing it. This is why you came here, to have these experiences, to push yourself, and to be challenged. Which was absolutely the right approach. It was all very doable with effort and determination. I was a business major and had a keen interest in English literature. There were a lot of interesting classes that I would have loved to have taken but they were in the afternoon and I could not take them because of practice. To say the least, I was very busy and rarely bored.”

What is your favorite ND basketball memory?

“I have two favorite memories to share with you. One from my freshman year, and one from my senior year. First, Coach Terry Tyler invited us (the freshmen on the squad) over to his house for Thanksgiving my freshman year. We were right in the middle of two-a-days, and were overwhelmed with trying to balance basketball and our first semester of classes, and it was a much-needed break for us. He and his wife, Sara, cooked an amazing southern Thanksgiving meal, he told us stories from when he played in the NBA, and it felt like we were in another world, a vortex of sorts. It was calm and relaxing, there was no pressure, we laughed, ate amazing food, the freshmen all bonded, and it was definitely one of the highlights from my time at Notre Dame. It is hard to explain how much that night was needed at the time but it definitely was.”

“Second, in my senior year, my senior day game was my favorite on the court memory. I tied my career high points during that game. We beat Boston College and I dunked on a few people. My Mom and sister were both there to see me play, we got to celebrate afterwards with friends, and it is a day I will never forget.”

Did you play basketball professionally after ND?

“I had been chasing that NBA dream since I was a kid and so I continued to pursue that dream post Notre Dame. After graduation, I attended the Indiana Pacers free agent camp run by Larry Bird and Rick Carlisle, which was an unbelievable experience. That really showed me where the bar was, as the Pacers team was very strong that year. From there I played a season in the CBA-IBL for the Cincinnati Stuff. The year was fine but I did not really enjoy it, to be honest, because it was a very selfish atmosphere. Everyone was playing for these ten-day NBA contracts and trying to get called up, and it was selfish one-on-one basketball. I missed the team goal of winning and it lacked the camaraderie I had experienced at Notre Dame. It was a learning year, though, and my game continued to improve.”

“The next year I played in Finland and it was one of the best years of my life. I really got to focus on basketball and play on a team where the goal was to win and come together. I loved it and I had a great season. Then I played for the London Towers in the EuroLeague, I played in Slovenia and in Belgium, and then I hurt my knee. After I hurt my knee I was going to hang it up and then John Simon from the original team I played for in Finland called and asked me to come back and play for them for two years. While I was there, I also had the opportunity to go back to school at the Helsinki School of Economics and get my Master’s Degree. It was like being on scholarship again (just a bit older). It is also where I met my wife, Anne (in MBA school), and we lived in Finland for eleven years. It was a great choice. Playing basketball professionally was a wonderful experience for me and it allowed me to see the world and meet my wife.”

Where did life take you after basketball?

“Once I retired from playing basketball, and graduated with my MBA, I was hired in Helsinki to do marketing at Nokia, who was the biggest mobile phone maker in the world at the time. Then I took a job with a company called Rovio Entertainment and headed up the marketing for Angry Birds, which was a mind blowing kind of experience as it became a pop culture juggernaut. That led to my current job where I head marketing and brand for the Best Fiends franchise at Seriously Digital Entertainment (A Playtika Studio), which moved us from Helsinki, Finland, to Los Angeles, California. The company is based in both Helsinki and Los Angeles which is great because it gives us a reason to go back to Helsinki, but we also love being in Los Angeles. My wife and I have 2 boys, Liam (8), and Fin (5), and we have two family dogs. Living in Finland was a great experience for us, and we may end up back there, but it sure would be hard to give up the Los Angeles weather.”

How did being a student-athlete at Notre Dame prepare you for what you are doing today?

“Of course graduating, and all of the experiences you have at Notre Dame, and the wonderful classes and professors, all prepare you for life after college. But I think Notre Dame has a way of holding you accountable for your own successes and failures, and it teaches you that quite early. You have to learn an inner motivation while you are there, in order to be successful in a place where you are surrounded by so many other smart, very motivated, future successful young men and women, and that inner drive is what you need to become a successful adult. Being surrounded by so many talented people also causes you to find that inner motivation quickly, and to act on it, because you have to in order to survive.”

What advice would you give current student-athletes?

“Ask questions, be curious, and put yourself out there. Learn from others and offer your expertise. Build a network. Push yourself both on and off the court (or field). Even if you are lucky enough to eventually play professionally, it going to end one day, and you are going to have to be prepared for what is next, and Notre Dame will prepare you for that. However, you have to put in your own effort, and you have to be determined to do that. It is important that you start thinking about that early. Even if you are the greatest athlete around, it is going to end at some point and there is a whole another life after athletics. There is no better place than Notre Dame to figure that out.”

Do you have a funny story about your coach?

“Coach MacLeod was a stickler for each one of us to wear jock straps. To me, it was something like my grandfather would have worn. It was uncomfortable and weird and everyone in my freshmen class hated them. I just stopped wearing it and wore the normal spandex sports things that you would wear. I do not know if someone told on me or what, but he got wind that I was not wearing mine. So we were at practice one day, and he stopped us right in the middle of the lay-up line. Out of the blue, he came right up to me and started frisking me TSA style, to see if I was not wearing it. It was the most awkward funniest thing and the rest of the team was just standing there, watching, trying not to laugh at this situation I had gotten myself into. He went on to give us a speech on me not wearing my jock strap, and why it was important for us to wear it. It was such a surreal, weird, awkward experience, and my teammates still talk about it to this day. Doug Gottlieb loves to bring it up every year in one of his sports broadcasts, and then everyone starts texting me, ‘oh, he’s talking about it again!’ I think year after year the story grows into more of a legend.”

Do you have any philanthropy work or charity involvement that you would like to promote?

“I work with a couple of partners through our company that I love, and I have one that I am particularly excited about. I have always worked in the mobile game space, and we have collaborated with a company called SpecialEffect in the UK. They help people with physical disabilities of all ages find joy through playing video games. They build these unbelievable tech apparatuses that allow them to play games by blinking their eyes or using their feet and it is so incredible to see the smiles on their faces. They thought they would never be able to play a PS5 and now they have this incredible solution. They are a small organization, and they are starting to do some work in the United States, but they are looking to get bigger and help more people and we work closely with them. I am an ambassador for them and I am very proud of the work they are doing.”

Thank you, again, to Philip for spending some time with me and reminiscing about the good old days! I hope you enjoyed this week’s story, and as we head toward the weekend ... Cheers & GO IRISH!

Echoes From Notre Dame: Former Notre Dame Quarterback, Terry Hanratty

 In celebration of Terry Hanratty’s (upcoming) birthday on January 19th, I thought I’d share a few of my favorite Terry Hanratty stories. I had the privilege of interviewing Terry a few years ago, and when I say he was one of the most entertaining interviews I’ve ever done, that’s the absolute truth!

Here are some of my favorite stories that came out of my interview with Terry Hanratty.

Image: US PRESSWIRE

To start, he told me about his beloved coach, Ara Parseghian, and the traits that made Ara such an incredible coach.

There are good college football coaches, there are great football coaches, and then there are coaches that are on a level all their own. Coach Ara Parseghian is definitely in this latter elite group.

Ara’s ability to have us 100% prepared for anything we could possibly face on Saturday was what made him such a talented head football coach. Back when I played at Notre Dame in the mid 1960s you couldn’t play your freshman year, so I was a starter for the next three years. I was never once surprised by anything I faced during a game. We won a lot of games but we lost a couple as well. Our losses were usually the result of a bad performance. The losses, however, were never from being unprepared or from not knowing what Ara expected of you. He had you completely ready with a phenomenally constructed game plan, and you felt 100% comfortable going into every game. You were extremely prepared for anything that was headed your way.

Quite honestly I think Ara Parseghian is a one-of-a-kind guy. You will not find anyone like him ever again. He was such a dynamic recruiter. He had this personality that was so magnetic; you just had to play for him. It’s truly something you can’t read or learn in a Coaching 101 book on “how to become Ara Parseghian,” it’s just not that simple. He had this honesty and fairness about him. I haven’t seen those qualities in a coach anywhere else.

Yes, Ara may have been dynamic, magnetic, fair and honest, but when it came time to get down to business, he was just that: all business.

When you’d screw up at practice, Ara would tell you to bend down and touch your toes and then he’d literally kick you in the butt. One day Ara came to practice and he was really upset. He said, “Dushney, get over here and bend down and touch your toes,” and then he kicked him in the butt. Then he said, “I know you’re going to screw up today so I’m going to go ahead and kick you in the butt now!”

All of the hard work and perseverance paid off for Hanratty, but life with the Notre Dame Fighting Irish (and beyond) wasn’t all work and no play. His Notre Dame head coach, Ara Parseghian, did a great job of recognizing that Hanratty and his fellow teammates were still developing young men. Ara always kept a watchful eye on his players to make sure the balance between work and play didn’t tip to one extreme or the other.

Coach Parseghian had been notified by a few professors that some of his players were skipping class. As a result of this, Parseghian put Coach Boulac in charge of following these football players and making sure that they actually made it to class. One of my classrooms had a door into the class from the hallway. It also had another door which led out of the room from the back of class. We would go into class through the front door (while Coach Boulac was watching us) and then out the back door and over to “The Huddle.” This worked for a few days until Coach Boulac got wind of what we were doing. One day we did what we usually did and were sitting in The Huddle when in walked Coach Boulac. He caught us.

And then Terry dropped this story on me ...

Hanratty is the kind of guy who brings laughter with him wherever he goes. His time with the Steelers was no different.

Jack Lambert was a middle linebacker for the Pittsburgh Steelers and was one of the meanest guys in the NFL. No one would mess with him ... well, except for me! When I’d go into the locker room before practice, I’d go early enough so that I could place two cups of water underneath his shoulder pads, which were sitting on the top shelf of his locker. When he’d arrive to the locker room, he’d pull down his shoulder pads and the water would spill all over his face. I did it to him three days in a row. And for three days in a row he had water spill all over his face. Finally I told him, “You big dummy! Tomorrow morning, get up on your stool and look under your shoulder pads and if there’s water there, move the cups of water before taking down your shoulder pads.” The next morning, Jack gets up on his stool and looks underneath his shoulder pads, and there’s no water. He was so very proud of himself; he was strutting around the locker room as proud as a peacock. The next day, he comes to practice, pulls down his shoulder pad and water pours all over his face. I was 25-0 with different tricks on Lambert and he never got me once!

Terry, I hope you had the best birthday ever, and that your next trip around the sun is your best one yet.

Cheers & GO IRISH!

Triumphs From Notre Dame: Dr. Charles Thomas Jr.

If you're a Notre Dame basketball fan, this season has been pretty rough. (Congrats to the Irish, by-the-way, on their first ACC win last night!) So this morning I thought I'd channel some positive karma by sharing one of my favorite Notre Dame men's basketball stories from my third book, Triumphs From Notre Dame: Dr. Charles Thomas Jr. Here is a snippet from Charles' chapter. 

Triumphs From Notre Dame: Dr. Charles Thomas Jr.

In the iconic words of former Notre Dame head coach Lou Holtz, “I can’t believe God put us on this earth to be ordinary.” I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who walks through life in such a way that he proves the validity of this quote over and over again like Dr. Charles Thomas Jr. does. Dr. Charles Thomas Jr. is a man who challenges the thought processes of others in his daily encounters, who provides those who cross his path with a sense of hope in moments where all hope seems to be lost, whose selfless acts of community service help to mold and shape those who so very much need a sense of purpose and direction, and who strives to not only enrich his own life, but the lives of others as well. How does a kid from Flint, Michigan, end up playing Division I Basketball under the hue of the Golden Dome at Our Lady’s University, and go on to become a pillar not only in his career path but in his community as well? This is Dr. Charles Thomas Jr.’s story.

“My journey to Notre Dame was actually pretty interesting. At least it is to me. I knew nothing about Notre Dame until my senior year of high school. I grew up in Flint, Michigan, surrounded by ambitious and intelligent young black men. Although we had big dreams, many of us lacked exposure to the realm of probable. Many of us didn’t know anything about Ivy League schools, or schools such as Notre Dame…at least I didn’t. I only really knew about the schools I could ‘see,’ such as Michigan, Michigan State, Central Michigan; and I certainly never thought, ‘I want to be a Golden Domer.’”

“I went to this summer basketball camp and met some coaches from several different schools, one of which was Notre Dame; and so I put ND on my list. I literally thought Notre Dame was located in California. My counselor called me into his office one day and said,

‘Have you ever thought about applying to Notre Dame and Princeton?’

‘I don’t know where Princeton is, and I don’t want to go to California.’

‘Notre Dame is in South Bend!’

‘South Bend what?!’

‘Indiana!!’

“During my senior year of high school I got the itch; and I just had to go to Notre Dame. When Mr. Reynolds planted the bug in my ear, my entire focus shifted to getting into Notre Dame. And then, once I got accepted, the only thing on my mind was playing basketball at Notre Dame. I knew academically I would be okay, but athletically I was so small. There was no reason I should have thought I had any chance to play basketball at that Division I school, with players of that caliber.”

“When I arrived at Notre Dame, I went to the basketball office (Coach MacLeod was the head coach at the time), and I introduced myself. ‘Hey, I’m Charles Thomas, and I’m from Flint, Michigan. I want to speak with someone regarding the process one must go through to play basketball here.’ One of the coaches came out to meet me, and the coach looked at me and he asked, ‘Charles Thomas, how do I know that name?’ And I answered, ‘I’m from Flint, Michigan.’ And he emphatically replied, ‘You’re not 6’1” tall!’ My coach, Ray Jones, had made me out to be much bigger than I actually was!”

“My AAU Coach, Ray Jones, had written letters about me, and filmed me working out in the gym, and had bombarded the Notre Dame Basketball office with information about me. He told me if I ‘work, work, work, work, work,’ we’ll figure out a way to get you to Notre Dame.”

“One of the coaches at Notre Dame’s basketball’s office told me the process that I needed to follow in order to try out for the basketball team. He told me I couldn’t ‘officially’ practice with the team, but informed me that I could work out at ‘The Rock’ (workout facility and basketball gym for students on campus) in order to get ready for tryouts. He also told me that I could play pick-up games with the guys on the team, if they decided to pick me. ‘You just have to keep showing up,’ he said. With the stringent NCAA rules, as a prospective walk-on, you aren’t allowed to practice with the team before tryouts, and so I would go sit in the gym and watch them practice. I would keep going, day after day. I wanted them to see my commitment, and know how much I wanted to play with the team.”

Unbeknownst to them, I’m not afraid of the sharks, and I’m not afraid of living in the jungle, because I’m quite used to living in that space.

“One day as I sat and watched them practice, one of the guards twisted his ankle, and so they called over to me, ‘Hey Chuck, you want to play?’ What kind of question was that? Of course I wanted to play. And from that day on, every day they picked me to play with the team. It was such a challenge for me, because I was little, compared to the rest of the guys. Everyone told me I was too small, not strong enough, not fast enough; but unbeknownst to them, I’m not afraid of the sharks, and I’m not afraid of living in the jungle, because I’m quite used to living in that space.”

“I practiced every single day … 1,000 shots a day. I wasn’t going to give up on my dream.”

“At this point, I’m practicing with the team every day. When fall break rolls around, Coach Billy Taylor tells me, ‘go home for break and we’ll call you and let you know when tryouts are.’ When the call came during fall break, that epic phone call, that moment of joy on the phone; at first, I thought the call was a joke. Coach Taylor called and said, ‘there’s no need for you to try out, the fellas love you, come on back.’

Me: ‘Is this a joke?? Are you serious??’

I handed the phone to my mom, and then she said, ‘it’s no joke!! They are serious!!’”

“We drove back to campus the next day, and when I walked into the gym, the lights felt like they were so much brighter. The team was standing there in the middle of the court, clapping for me.”

“Academically, classes at Notre Dame were so hard. I knew it was going to be hard, but I wasn’t doing as well as I thought I was going to do. The conversations were just so different from what I was used to. We never talked about economics or any of these topics at home. But my parents had instilled this tremendous work ethic in me, and told me that even though I didn’t have all of the resources that many of my peers had, if I worked hard I could make it happen. I called home and told my parents that I did not belong at Notre Dame, and my mother quickly told me that I needed to stop my ‘woe is me’ act. My mom sold her car so that I could stay in school. I may not have believed in myself, but she absolutely did.”

“My teammates, however, were so cool. They told me told me to keep coming to practice. The focus that I had from my senior year of high school, straight through to October of my freshman year at ND, it was a singular focus to play basketball at Notre Dame. Months and months of the same routine every day, run, workout, shoot, eat, study, sleep, repeat; had finally paid off with that moment in the gym when my teammates were applauding me as I walked in. Easily the most memorable moment I had during my time at Notre Dame.”

“I wasn’t one of those kids who had always wanted to be an Irishman, but once the opportunity presented itself to me, I knew it was where I wanted to be. Before Notre Dame came onto my radar I looked at Michigan, Michigan State, Ohio State, Princeton, UNC – Chapel Hill, Hawaii, and some smaller schools such as Akron and Grand Valley. I went to a private high school in Flint, Michigan, but many of my classmates were looking at schools local to Michigan and Ohio. Only one of my classmates came to Notre Dame with me. Schools like Yale, Cal Berkeley, Vanderbilt, Duke, and Brown … none of those schools were on my radar.”

Every student arrives at Notre Dame with visions of grandeur. The sky is the limit, the dreams are endless, and the confidence to reach the summit fills each and every cup. But then life happens. The journey along the Notre Dame Value Stream is not an easy one, and every student and student-athlete who roam the halls of Our Lady’s University will have their ups and downs during their years under the Golden Dome. But the beauty of the Notre Dame Value Stream is this; She knows the journey will not be without strife, and She is always there to show you the way, so that when you come out on the other side, you are a stronger person than you were when you went in. Charles’s journey was no different.

“When I arrived at Notre Dame, I decided to study both science and business in the collegiate sequence program they offered (which was pretty new at the time). I liked science because of the process nature of it, but I also enjoyed business. Paul Rainey, one of my teammates, was in a similar collegiate-sequence program and told me to check it out. He told me, ‘you get the best of both worlds!’ So I went and talked to my counselor and he told me it was a great program. I completed all of my major classes in three-and-a-half years, so during my last semester I was able to expand my horizons and take classes outside of my major.”

“I was absolutely the definition of a ‘student-athlete.’ I studied, studied, studied and then played sports. I didn’t have the luxury of playing sports first and then studying as an afterthought. I wanted to be ready to play, but I knew academics was my focus. Initially, I thought the NBA was in my future. As college progressed and my game times experiences were limited, my NBA aspirations also decreased. This change in thought did not occur because I lost confidence in myself and my abilities. I simply began to accept the nature of my situation. At the point in which my focus started to shift, I knew that I was not an NBA caliber player. Maybe overseas, but not NBA level. My focus and desire shifted. My goal was to leverage sports to acquire the skills and education necessary to prepare myself for life after college.”

“I haven’t found anything that has replaced basketball for me. The teamwork, commitment, absolute pursuit of excellence, the crowd cheering you on; nothing else in life has replicated that for me. Not at that same level. However, I take that same focus and hustle mentality into my daily life. That four year experience at Notre Dame has prepared me for the next 50 years.”

Just when it seems that you are starting to get comfortable with what it takes to be successful both on and off the court at a big time Division I college program, your journey draws to a close, and your next adventure is about to begin. That first step on a new path may be scary and somewhat intimidating, but this is exactly where the Notre Dame Value Streams shines. It is where She lifts you up, and sends you out into the world prepared with everything you need to face the challenges ahead.

“After my academic and athletic career at Notre Dame, I was recruited to work within the Intelligence Community. Working in that community was an awesome experience. To know that my academic background from Notre Dame set me up for such a prestigious job was incredible. I was just a kid from Flint, Michigan. Opportunities like that didn’t exist for kids from Flint, Michigan … or at least I thought.”

“Then I changed course and got a job in the corporate space doing organizational dynamics and IT. I also went back to graduate school and earned my MBA at UTSA, and then went on to Creighton University to earn my Master of Science and Doctoral degrees. I’m back working in the intelligence community, as CEO of a technology company. When I was in school, I had always talked about being a forensic scientist, but then I decided to try something else. We all have to decide where our aptitude and abilities are going to take us.”

“The interdisciplinary training that I acquired at Notre Dame prepared me for interdisciplinary aspects of life. The success that I’ve achieved so far, it’s not because of pure talent; it’s because I put in significant effort. No one can ever say that I don’t work hard. That will never be on my tombstone. You don’t have to be the most analytical or the most intelligent, but you do have to put in effort. I know so many people who may not be the smartest one in the bunch, but they work extremely hard. Take your aptitude and abilities and align that with your future.”

“The adversity I felt in my dark days, when I wasn’t playing on the team, wondering if I was ever going to be able to do this; became I’m going to turn this into what I want it to be. I am going to stop being mad and start working harder, to study harder, and to keep at it. You’re going to have adversity in your life, you need to be able to figure out how to solve it. Coach Brey told me, ‘if you can shoot, you can play anywhere in the country. Now I’m not telling you to leave, but I am telling you no matter where you are, if you can produce, you can play.’ I used this philosophy in the work force as well; if you can create produce, and perform, you can work anywhere. You need to be able to take nothing, and turn it into something. Be an artist and create.”

“The people in life who are the most successful are the ones who are able to produce something. They are no longer purely consumers of knowledge, but are producing something worthwhile. The sports journey that I traveled allowed me to become confident in telling stories. Not only in the books I’ve written, but even in my executive work, I have to tell stories. We have a business objective we’re going after, and we need to be able to explain why we want it, how it fits with us, how our employees fit with it. It’s all story telling.”

In addition to his work in the government and corporate space, and his collegiate level teaching activities, Charles also writes. He is a soon-to-be four-time published author. I asked Charles to tell me what prompted him to become an author, and what the writing experience has been like for him.

I didn’t want to be an author, but I needed to release my demons, and writing was my way of releasing them.

“For starters, I don’t consider myself an author. I just consider myself someone who wrote something and got it published. I also don’t consider myself an academic, I just consider myself someone who likes to learn. I didn’t want to be an author, but I needed to release my demons, and writing was my way of releasing them. I was in shambles internally, and the only way I knew how to get rid of the negativity was to write about it. Kind of like that song from Hamilton, I wrote my way out. I had to deal with my demons one way or another, and so I started writing to get them out. I sent the manuscript (for ‘Scars, Exile & Vindication: My Life as an Experiment’) to one of my graduate school professors, who told me I had a strong voice and that I needed to get it published. And that’s what I did. Now, I have published a second book, ‘Breakthrough,’ and a third book as well, ‘Leading Through Difficulty: The Darker Side of Workplace Behavior.’” My fourth book is on the way. It’s about the walk-on journey.

“My grandmother always told me, ‘don’t die with the stories inside of you.” I have so much inside of my head, and I need to get it out. There are so many of us going through things in our life, and we feel like we are alone. I hope that through my writing and speaking I can be a voice in the ensemble of choices that can resonate with someone. One of my philosophies is to try to be the best I can, while I can. I don’t necessarily think it was me deciding that; that I wanted to be an author. I wanted to tell stories, and to be of value, rather than to be an author per se.”

“After I wrote my first book, I let it sit for two years. I happened to send it to a friend, and he said, ‘this is a real book! You actually made it flow and it tells a story!’ I’ve always been able to tell a story, but I had no idea I could write a book. My desire to let my negativity go was my first desire. I was in a bad headspace. Before I started, my coping mechanism to deal with my negativity was to reach for the bottle. Even though I was drinking a tremendous amount of alcohol, I was still functioning well and performing at a high level in graduate school. It was pure intellect and instinct that carried me through those dark moments.”

“I was in a downward spiral internally, for several years, but externally you would have never known. I was still wearing three piece suits, and going to the gym; but at night I’d drink a bottle of tequila and read a book. It all seemed to be working for me until I walked into the liquor store one day and the guy said to me, ‘seriously? You were just here yesterday.’ But I didn’t feel anything was wrong. After I would drink a bottle, I should have felt something, but I didn’t. I’d drink, write, work out, and feel perfectly fine. Get up the next day, go to class, and repeat the whole process the next night. I wrote my way out of a very dark place.”

“In elementary school and high school, sports kept the negativity out of me, but as an adult, writing helped me deal with the negative situations I was facing in life. Something bad would happen and I would go home, write about it, get it out of my system, delete it, and feel better.

You might think that a successful government consulting career, along with writing books, would be enough to keep one more than busy; but not so for Charles. He is also a keynote speaker, a co-host of the Divergent Thought radio show, an educator (Charles is an Adjunct Professor of Leadership, Civility, and Personal Responsibility, Organizational Behavior, and Organizational Development and Transformation at the Undergraduate level. He also serves as an Adjunct Professor of Leadership Theory & Practice and Consulting Management & Practice at the Doctorate level. And within the local jail system, Charles teaches Life Skills: Communication, Financial Literacy, Decision Making, and Mental Health; to men who are incarcerated and preparing for societal re-entry), and has committed himself to service before self through his many community service endeavors. How did Charles get involved in so many different things?

When you learn, teach, when you get, give. ~Maya Angelou

“I’m not the most profound person in the world, but I do things because I think they can get done. I stand on the shoulders of giants. I strive to meet and exceed the ideals and standards of the best of those that came before me. I teach at the county jail in Northern Virginia, I teach students at the University level, I work with the homeless, I have a radio show in which we talk about social justice; I believe that education and community engagement are so very important. Growing up in Flint, Michigan was a magnificent upbringing. As a teenager, I became very aware of the power of community. I didn’t understand the magnitude of how much value people were offering, however, until I became older and more self-reflective. Although there were plenty of role models, external to my parents and some relatives, I mainly looked up to athletes and entertainers. Now, that I am older and have the opportunity to do so, I want to represent a different narrative for kids growing up in situations like I did.”

“I was giving a speech not too long ago, and a young black man came up to me after I was done. He told me, ‘I’ve seen President Obama speak and that’s cool, but you, I know you. I’ve seen what you have done, and I know that I can do it too.’ President Obama did just that for me. To see an educated black man achieve that level of success shows me that opportunities like that exist for me, and that maybe I can become something like that one day. I am constantly in a state of self-exploration, asking, can I do it myself? And who can I bring with me if I can’t. As a demonstration of human potential, I want to show people something that they may not otherwise see.”

“We do intellectual, mental, and spiritual rehabilitation at the county jail to give men and women tools they need to successfully re-integrate into society. How do I respond to this situation? Not react to the situation, but respond. Not everyone is going to like me, but I’m out there shooting and catching arrows. You can’t be afraid of success, failure, or of what people think of you. ‘When you learn, teach, when you get, give.’ Maya Angelou”

“At the very least, I’m trying. I want everyone to know I did my best. I want me to know that I did and am doing my best. You can’t do that if you just sit at home. You have to offer value to other people. I want to use whatever talents, gifts, wisdom that I have. In order to get in the game, you need to be near the game. That pattern of life has propelled me, even into the community. If I want to share and/or solve a leadership problem, or a mass incarceration problem, I have to be involved.”

“As an adult, I’ve won two leader of the year awards, an outstanding service to the community award, two 40 under 40 awards, a rising star award, and several other accolades. Those awards were bestowed upon me based on the dealings I’ve had with people, and the impact I’ve had on people at the micro level (jail, community, and university work). Those acts of service are just as important to me as my corporate work.”

“I try to be involved and offer insights to others based on my experiences and the lessons learned from other people. When you talk to so many people, you get so much insight on how to better live your own life. When you capture the life experiences of others, it gives you real insight as to whether or not you are living your life well. In the process, you learn that there are things that are an option that you never knew were a possibility before.”

“I try to at least offer something of value, so that someone who is listening to me can take something away with them; one thing at the very least. They may not take everything away with them, but I want them to at least take one thing away with them. On our radio show, we try to offer something to counteract all the negativity that is in the world.”

Charles currently lives in the Washington D.C. area with his wife, Manthanee, and their two children.

The full version of Dr. Charles Thomas Jr.’s chapter (including what it was like to play for three different head coaches, and his favorite memories from his time at Notre Dame) appears in my book, Triumphs From Notre Dame: The Echoes of Her Loyal Sons and Daughters.

You can also check out Charles on his radio show, Divergent Thought, and if you’re in need of a fantastic keynote speaker, you can reach out to him via his website: https://charlesthomasjr.com/

Cheers & GO IRISH!

Echoes From Notre Dame: Former Notre Dame Basketball Player Joe Fredrick

 T-shirts? What t-shirts?

Happy Wayback Wednesdsay! 

The following is a snippet from Chapter 21 of my third book (Triumphs From Notre Dame): Joe Fredrick, former Notre Dame Fighting Irish basketball player. Joe shared with me what it was like to play for coach Digger Phelps.

Coaches at the University of Notre Dame tend to have big coaching philosophies, and oftentimes even bigger personalities (and egos). Head basketball coach Richard Frederick “Digger” Phelps was no exception. Joe talks about what it was like to play for a demanding head coach, and how Digger’s coaching style taught the guys not only about the game of basketball, but the game of life as well.

The infamous Catholics vs. Convicts t-shirt

 Matt Cashore-USA TODAY Sports

“Don’t assume, always have a backup, and always have a follow up.” ~Coach Digger Phelps

“What was it like to play for Coach Phelps? Challenging. You always knew that he was going to push you every single day to become the best possible player that you could be. What I admired most about Coach Phelps was that even with as difficult as the athletic part of the equation was, when it came to the academic and personal side of the equation, he truly cared about all portions of your life. He didn’t only care about what happened on the court. Looking back on those days as an adult, father, and coach, I have a great deal of appreciation for what he did for us. He always talked to us about our life after school and after basketball, and emphasized the value of graduating and getting our degree. He had a phrase that he used quite often, that I still use this day, ‘Don’t assume, always have a backup, and always have a follow up.’ And he would say it to us all the time. He literally drilled it into our heads. In addition, he would apply it to every life situation. If you were late to practice he would ask you, ‘Why weren’t you there early? Did you have a backup plan? Why did you assume we were going to start practice at 3 pm? You should have been here at 2:30 pm.’ He basically eliminated every excuse you had and honestly to this day in business, I think that particular phrase of his is probably my number one core principle.”

“We had practice at 3 pm, but practice really started at 2:15 pm with what was called ‘pre-practice.’ In hindsight, that 45 minute pre-practice was actually harder than the regular practice. The first month of my freshman year I kept thinking to myself, are you kidding me? This is just pre-practice, and pre-practice is harder than the ‘actual’ practice. Coach would walk out for practice at 3 pm and I was dead, gassed, completely tired. I had to go through a significant adjustment period to gain the stamina to do both pre-practice and regular practice. He was a driver, make no bones about it, he pushed you every single day. He pushed you mentally, and physically. Every which way you could be pushed, he tried. He’s a character. He’s a one of a kind, that’s for sure.”

Every coach who coaches at a Division I school, especially a school so steeped in a winning tradition such as Notre Dame, wants his team to perform at their absolute best year in and year out. Joe explains some of the factors that contributed to head coach Digger Phelps being as successful as he was

“First, candidly, back then the lack of network exposure (for teams other than Notre Dame), worked in Digger’s favor. Today there are five or six ESPN channels, and the Fox Sports network of channels; every team has national exposure of some sort. Back then, Notre Dame was really the only school who was on TV weekly because we were not in a conference, and we played as an independent. This allowed him to recruit players from all over the country. The ability for him to get top, number one recruits was such a great asset for him. When you look through the years, he always had high level players. Second was his ability to push you, and get every ounce he could get out of you. He was a really good X’s and O’s coach. He understood the game, and knew how to motivate players. He always was able to keep you on edge. He never let you have a comfortable feeling, which meant you always felt like you were playing for your job. And from having friends who played football under Coach Holtz, the two coaches had very similar coaching styles.”

And then, there it is, that dreaded point in every interview when I ask,

“What is your favorite basketball memory from your time at Notre Dame.” I always thought that question would be a slam dunk, but for so many of the athletes that I interview, that question is hands down the one they labor over the most. But without fail, as the conversation moves along, and the walk down memory lane gets a bit clearer, every single person has that a-ha moment and elatedly recites the story of their favorite Notre Dame memory. “Honestly, my favorite memory from playing basketball at Notre Dame? Being in the locker room with my teammates. The bonds that I built with guys like Jamere Jackson, Keith Robinson, Scott Paddock, Kevin Ellery, Tim Singleton, LaPhonso Ellis; those bonds never leave you. I coach at a local high school, and we were at a state tournament down in Lexington, and I got a text from Kevin Ellery who came to the game to watch my team play. When LaPhonso Ellis announces the Notre Dame Basketball games on TV, he and I text after the games. Jamere Jackson is super successful, he’s the CFO of Hertz Rental Cars, and every time he gets a promotion we all text him and tease him about lending us money. Twenty plus years later and those bonds are just unbreakable. Every time we talk to each other we feel like we’re right back there in the locker room. Like no time at all has passed. And I know the football guys feel the same way.”

“Probably the most unforgettable, distinct basketball memory that I have, the one that is indelibly marked in my brain, is not really an on the court memory. It was the time when we were at Midnight Madness, and Coach Phelps called me over and asked me, ‘Hey Fred, do you have anything to do with the Catholics vs. Convicts t-shirts?’ And without missing a beat I responded, ‘Coach, I have no idea what you’re talking about. Nope, that’s my roommate, Mike.’ That was probably the most terrifying moment I ever had with Coach Phelps. But it’s also my most lasting memory <laughs>. . . meanwhile I had thousands of dollars in my dorm room, and t-shirts flying out the door. Everywhere.”

I hope you’ve enjoyed this snippet from Joe Fredrick’s chapter. If you’d like to read more of his story, here’s a 20% off code (IRISHSHOPSMALL), for you to pick up a copy of the book for yourself! 

Cheers & GO IRISH!